Pransky
I highly recommend checking out the book The Relationship Handbook, by George Pransky.
See his website page here.
He turns things around. Focusing on attitude, and letting communication take care of itself.
Another version of taking responsibility for our experience, at least seeing how much of it is informed by our thoughts and where our attention is at.
Instead of couples therapy and talking about problems, which makes everyone feel worse, try the “Happy Experiment”: What if we tried to be positive and nice to each other?
Simplistic? Perhaps. Try it. As he writes, a change of heart can happen in an instant.